Rogues Gallery

You come across some strange things on the net, few stranger than the ‘Heads of Government‘ online exhibition by photographer David Partner which, taking its name literally, consists of lots of artistic photographs of the heads of assorted government Ministers – although Messrs Blair, Brown and Prescott (thank god!) are notable by their absence.

All of which, in time-honoured internet fashion, calls for a post with a selection of photos and a series of bad jokes and captions, so we have:

Tessa Jowell – who from the neck of her sweater was pictured shortly after a meeting with former Tory leader Michael Howard.

Dave Milliband – no I do not want to know what’s going on out of shot.

Ben Bradshaw – auditioning for a major part in a remake of Brideshead Revisited

Tony Slattery ??? When the fuck did he become an MP?

Ah yes. We all know who this is – Chuck De Nomolos.

Stop it! You’ll scare the children.

Nice to see Captain Peacock got a job after Grace Bros closed down – it’s a TK Maxx apparently. Shame the ‘tache had to go, mind you.

Are you absolutely sure he’s one of ours?

Update: On reflection I don’t think this is even a real MP. Looks more like a halfway point in a morph between Leon Brittan and David Mellor [yeuch!].

Always liked him better when he was flogging those trike thingies – what were they called? Ah yes, the C5, that’s it.

Defence Secretary? Nah, it’s that bloke off ‘Never Mind the Buzzcocks’, the one in the line-up that never says anything. Seriously, it’s just that the lightings a bit different that’s all.

Included by special request of readers of Guido’s Blog and to make old Guido a happy man – or should that be to make happy Guido an old man? Never can be quite sure…

  • God. Those are horrible. Only Jack Straw and Hilary Benn look human. (There are some kinder one if you hunt for them.) If a press photographer had taken those, she’d be accused of character assassination by bad lighting.

    Peter Hain used to quite good-looking. Now he looks like a no-hope lifetime backbench creepy Tory. Ruth Kelly has never been photogenic, even photo-me booths have stools which take children up to eye level with the camera. Steven Twigg looks like a character though doesn’t he? I imaging he’s saying, “He can throw a kettle over a pub. What have you ever done?”

    Now, how many would fail the new rules for passport photos?