Right, it’s time to escape tonight episode of David Dimbleby’s Ten Circle of Hell, sadly without seeing Richard Littlecock beaten to death on live TV, and kick off the liveblog…

And my first prediction for the night is that we’ll get sporadic reports of BNP supporters behaving like a bunch of cunts at at election counts before the night is over…

…because that’s how they always behave.

So that’s a nice safe prediction for starters.

I’m going to get a cup of coffee and settle down, so to kick things off we’ll take the first of tonight’s video features, which will list the top ten music videos that Guido won’t be enjoying between now and May 15th.

So, the kettle’s boiling and here’s the mighty Queens of the Stone Age:

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=UiU7o7hRJmE[/youtube]

See you in a minute…

23:39 – Oops, just spotted Blakey on the Beeb – fuck knows who the other two bloggers are but I’m sure we’ll find out in a bit:

Altogether now… ‘I ‘ate you Ireland’.

23:48 – What a fucking line-up on the Beeb, Chatshow Charlie, Oofy Prosser and Tessa ‘what mortage?’ Jowell… and boy does Osborne look even creepier than usual. I swear he was coming on to Chatshow just then when he was talking about Birmingham City Council, which has been so successful under the Tories that they can’t even build a fucking library with screwing it up.

23:54 – Picture of the Beeb’s bloggers on Blakey’s site, and its Akehurst for Labour… Oh fuck.

23:56 – And for the Lib Dem is fellow conspirator Alix Mortimer, so that’s one working brain out of three, a better ratio that Question Time.

23:58 – And that’s the first plug for Dizzy from Blakey.

00:11 – All very boring so far… time for video, and we’ll go with this election broadcast from the BNP…

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=vlmGknvr_Pg[/youtube]

00:15 – Well there’s a turn-up for the books… a Tory gain in Sandwell. Mind you it is Princes End, which went BNP last time out, so its only a slight shift to the left…

00:17 – And that’s a blow for the Tories as ‘Worcester Woman’ has decided not to hand them back control of the council, which they lost in a by-election after a row over wheelie bins.

00:31 – And its time for the obligatory election night impressionist. Is it me or this the most tedious election night in ages…

00:35 – Time for another Guido vid… and at number 9 in Guido’s shit-list its the Doors.

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=oUIq-CGfjYE[/youtube]

00:38 – Chatter from Manchester suggests that the Tory’s best and may only realistic chance of picking up a seat has gone begging so it looks like its going to be another year with no Tories in Manc.

00:42 – What the FUCK? What is the deal with Jeremy Vine… is he shilling for a slot on this year’s Children in Need or have they got Andrew Neil writing the scripts?

00:45 – Three more results in for Sandwell. Labour hold Abbey, Langley, Oldbury and Tipton Green, to add to Friar Park which came in earlier… and the big news round here is that the BNP vote isn’t holding up.

Will get a few numbers sorted in a bit, after a fag break and the next Guido vid, and its a bit of Magic Sam at number 8…

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HS7vqxJVUv4[/youtube]

00:59 – Yep, from the result in so far in Sandwell, the BNP’s vote is about half what it was last year.

01:18 – Still watch Sandwell – more interesting than the Beeb.

01:20 – Dudley, 2 seats still to declare and there’s a gain for UKIP in St James’s ward, with the Tories rolling in fourth

01:25 – Time for another Guido tribute vid…

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TlLWFa1b1Bc[/youtube]

Obvious really…

01:32: Dudley Result in…

Tories 43 (+4)

Labour 26 (-2)

Lib Dem 2 (-3)

UKIP 1 (+1)

01:52 Sandwell MBC website says 3 gains for the Tories. Princes End is technically one as its been held by Labour since December on a by-election. Not clear as yet where the other two gains are, but I suspect one may be Wednesbury.

02:19 Looks like a few more detailed results in Sandwell are starting to filter through… more in a bit but first another Guido vid…

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1zgja26eNeY[/youtube]

02:36 Found two of the Tory gains, Wednesbury South and, surprisingly, Cradley Heath and Old Hill.

There’s also one Labour gain in Smethwick (well done, Pam), so there has to be another Tory gain somewhere in all this… Hateley Heath?

02:54 Nope, Bristnall ward went Tory, and I think that’s a wrap. Didn’t get to ten on the Guido vids, sadly, but I’ve sign off with the number one…

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=16u0wwCfoJ4[/youtube]