Beverley Milf Cop

So I’ve got the TV on in the background and up pops a trailer for a new American cop show on one of the cable channels. I’m not really paying attention, so I don’t catch the name of the show or even the channel its on but what does register is the voice over…

“She’s a cop… She’s a mother… She’s a woman!”

Well D’uh! What the fuck do you expect unless the series is called ‘Lassie: Police Sniffer Dog’?

Then my brain starts moving up the gears… just exactly what the fuck is that voice over driving at?

Seriously. Could you imagine a promo for a cop show with a male lead using the same kind of voice over?

“He’s a cop… He’s a father… He’s a man!.”

Hell no, of course not.

That would just sound so fucking stupid that not even Dave would think of using it, unless it was a preview promo for a comedy sketch-show, so why would anyone think it would sound any less moronic just because the lead character is a series is female.

Then it struck me – hang on, there’s a subtext to that trailer, a secondary voice-over, that’s going to make perfect sense to a particular demographic, one that goes something like this…

“She’s a cop… [she’s tough]”

“She’s a mother… [she’s caring… and she probably fucks as well]”

“She’s a woman… [YES!!! JESUS H FUCKING CHRIST AND HALLELUJAH! SHE DEFINITELY FUCKS… AND SHE OWNS A PAIR OF FUCKING HANDCUFFS!!!!!]”

Now I understand. It’s all crystallised perfectly and I know exactly what this promo means and what it’s actually trying to tell us.

Jay and Silent Bob have got jobs in advertising.

Of course the advert is still fucking stupid but at least the creative process behind it now makes sense.