Daft Idea #1 – Screaming Traffic Cones

Via the BBC I I’ve learned of a new health and safety measure that I fully expect to be doomed to be a dismal failure:

“Screaming” traffic cones are to be used on motorways across England to protect road crews. The cones are fitted with an alarm that “will literally scream” when the cone is struck, the Highways Agency said. The yellow-topped, “lighthouse” style wailers alert road workers to the danger of vehicles coming too close. The agency said they will mainly be used on motorways, meaning students or other traditional cone nemeses are likely to be kept at bay. The cones were unveiled by the agency near Perry Barr in Birmingham. “We will only use them at certain localities,… Read more »

Fetish Dungeons (& Dragons)

To be brutally honest, Fifty Shades of Grey is one of those books that ranked pretty high on my personal list of books to avoided like the plague even before I discovered that it had started life as a bit of dodgy BSDM fan-fiction using characters from the Twilight books. Euugh! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I have a problem with erotica as a literary genre, I just prefer my books to be well-written, which I’m reliably assured isn’t the case with the ‘Fifty Shades’ books, not to mention that the overriding impression I’ve been given is that, despite their fetish elements, the books are otherwise desperately conventional by comparison to the works of Anais Nin and Emmanuelle… Read more »

Tits ‘Out’ at the Tabloids

I know this may sound a bit Ian Hislop, but if there are two things that I don’t watch on television its reality shows and soap operas. That’s not snobbery or being out of touch, so far as I’m concerned, its much more a matter of the value I place on my time, and brain cells. Nevertheless, I am at least dimly aware of the fact that Helen Flanagan is a young actress who broke into television, and the public eye, through a soap opera and that she was, until yesterday, one of the contestants on a reality show, when she was voted off the show by its voyeurs… sorry, I did mean to say viewers… no, on reflection, I… Read more »

Dear America, Remember to Vote Human on November 6th

Today’s the big day when 140 million Americans, or thereabout, get to choose their next President while the rest of world looks on with bated breath and thinks ‘ FFS, please make it Obama’. The result, so the press and pundits are telling us, will be close. So close that it will depend on the ballots cast a handful of US states and may easily depend on a relatively small number of people who haven’t yet made their minds up who to vote for. If that happens to be you then even though I don’t personally have a dog in this fight, there’s something I want you to consider very carefully. You can, so I’ve always found, learn a lot about… Read more »

Beverley Milf Cop

So I’ve got the TV on in the background and up pops a trailer for a new American cop show on one of the cable channels. I’m not really paying attention, so I don’t catch the name of the show or even the channel its on but what does register is the voice over… “She’s a cop… She’s a mother… She’s a woman!” Well D’uh! What the fuck do you expect unless the series is called ‘Lassie: Police Sniffer Dog’? Then my brain starts moving up the gears… just exactly what the fuck is that voice over driving at? Seriously. Could you imagine a promo for a cop show with a male lead using the same kind of voice over?… Read more »

I Get Spam Email

When you’ve been online for as long as I have it’s easy to fell that you’ve pretty much seen it all, particularly when it comes to spam, but the email that’s just landed in my mailbox is a new one even for me.

Greetings. Thank you very much for interest in our medical products. Here at Hangzhou Zhenbang Medical Device Company, Ltd. we have many years of experience in the manufacturing and distributor of top quality medical supplies including Condom ,Rapid test strip like HIV, HCG, Drug test, Urine test strips . We are a premier manufacturer and distributor of urine bags, Nelaton tubes, rectal tubes, vacuum blood-collection systems, blood bags, infusion sets, and surgical equipment such as staplers, dressing, towels,… Read more »

MPs’ expenses scam inspired by 80′s sitcom?

You’ll have to forgive me for veering into Political Scrapbook territory but no soon as I heard that a number of MPs have been bypassing the new rules, which prevent them claiming mortgage payments on expenses, by renting their second homes to each other, I had the uncanny feeling that I’d seen this particular scam somewhere before. And, after a couple of conversations with family members, it turns out that I was right. Older visitors to the Ministry may well recall a late 80s sitcom called ‘Bread‘, which chronicled the heart-warming misadventures of a loveable Scouse-Catholic family of dole-cheats and chancers, the Boswell family. Written by the-then reigning queen of the Scouse sit-com, Carla Lane, the series ran for five… Read more »

Celebrity Toast Images for Fun and Profit

I’m feeling creative today, so I thought we’d do a bit of a Blue Peter style ‘make’ and show you how to create your own celebrity toast images. Materials/Equipment. To begin with you’ll need to get the follwing list of materials and equipment together…

A loaf of thick-sliced white bread, preferably a square sandwich loaf. A grill. A sheet of thin card. (This should be a couple of centimetres larger than your bread on all sides.) A sheet of aluminium foil. (Large enough to cover the card completely.) A pencil. A craft knife or modelling scalpel. (Kids, remember to get a grown-up to help.) A selection of black and white celebrity clip art.

Instructions. Step 1 – Choose your celebrity.Read more »

Coming Soon – Rhys Morgan the Movie

It would appear from today’s Twitter traffic that Rhys Morgan has now hit the big time with the acquisition of his own personal fruitloop, who comes complete with their own batshit insane Youtube channel, ‘SKEPTICSexposed’ (seven videos and counting, so far). That said, most of the smart money is heading toward the suggestion that Rhys may only have joint-custody with Popehat, who’s still jawing away with Marc Anthony Stephens (the likely culprit) to rather amusing effect, at least for the time being. In all, it does seem just a bit unfair to leave Rhys to tackle this one all on his own. Although he’s advanced rapidly over the last couple of years to become the youngest ever level 15 skeptic, he… Read more »

Kim Jong Il – A Tribute

Sadly, its unlikely that anyone on North Korea will find out that this video is the sum total of Kim Jong Il’s global legacy.