…and straight on to the accountancy class.
If yet more evidence were ever needed that the 650 or so inhabitants of ‘Westminster Village’ have lost touch with the real world, an article in today’s Observer notes the view of the Associate Parliamentary Skills Group and National Skills Forum that:
‘Careers advice should be given to every child of primary-school age,’ according to Barry Sheerman, Labour MP for Huddersfield and former lecturer in American Studies at the University of Wales, Swansea, before adding that:
‘For too many children, a future as a fairy princess or pop star is the only dream they have, and it doesn’t occur to them to aspire to go to university, be a doctor or a scientist.
It would, of course, have to be done in a delicate way.
We are not suggesting sitting a five-year-old child down with a list of firm options but you need to inspire the imagination of the children to see where their potential could lead them.’
In other words, it’s ok for young kids to have an imagination but only so far it extends to matters which the political elite think will be useful to the economy in future, so I guess we can expect a new generation of reading books to be added to the national curriculum including:
Topsy and Tim study accountancy.
The [Schroedinger’s] Cat in the Hat’s Big Book of Nuclear Physics
“Oh do go on, he dared, he dared.
Please tell us why E = mc squared
For surely then we’ll see, we’ll see
Heisenberg’s principle of uncertainty”
And of course, we can exclusively reveal that the title of JK Rowlings seventh and final book about life at Hogwarts School of Wizardry is to be called ‘Harry Potter and the Management Consultant” in which Harry, Ron and Hermione’s battle with the evil Lord Voldemort reaches a conclusion in a race against time to get their plans for Hogwarts to become a City Academy to the Ministry of Magic in time to stop ‘he who cannot be named’ turning the school into a comprehensive.
It’s worth noting that this not merely another bizarre excursion into managerialism from New Labour but comes from a cross-party group which includes Lib Dem, Simon Hughes, who believes:
‘…children should be given mentors before they leave primary school to start talking to them about career options.
They would be able to enthuse the child, then continue mentoring throughout secondary school with a view specifically towards careers advice.’
Nothing, then, from Simon on rooting out the most pernicious of all childish fantasies, the belief that an invisible and onmipotent supreme being runs the universe which is taught, by law, to all children from the age of five.
What else can one do in the circumstance by paraphrase the words of Roger Waters:
“Hey, dickheads, leave the kids alone!”