With ‘is ‘ead tucked underneath ‘is arm…

In which Guido discovers the old adage that ‘those who live by the sword…’

Blogger ‘Guido Fawkes’ is led off to the Tower

Off to the rack with him! The waspish Westminster blogger “Guido Fawkes”, who is devoted to making life uncomfortable for political trough-guzzlers, joins his historical namesake in finding himself at the sharp end of the legal system.

Lobbyists, aides and parliamentarians from all sides of the Houses – particularly those with something to hide – will be delighted to learn that the famously thirsty troublemaker, real name Paul Staines, was up before the beak at Tower Bridge Magistrates Court last Thursday.

He admitted driving while under the influence and without insurance after being stopped by the Plod in the small hours of 17 April, driving his wife’s Volkswagen fast and swerving across lanes in south London. He was breathalysed and found to be almost twice the legal limit. Asked by District Judge Timothy Stone whether he had an alcohol problem, Staines said: “Possibly.”

Sentencing is on 15 May. It is his fourth alcohol-related offence and second drink-driving reprimand – he was banned for 12 months in 2002 – requiring the judge to consider a jail sentence.

“I had been speaking at the Adam Smith Institute,” Guido explains. “They have made a lot of money so the booze is usually pretty good. I moved on with a few people to the Westminster Arms, where I bought drinks, and then to the Kennington Tandoori to show everyone the picture of Prezza on the wall. Then I was giving a few people a lift to Victoria station when the fuckers pulled me over.”

Do they have internet access in Wormwood Scrubs?


A quick mooch around teh interwebs indicates that for a second drink driving offence with 10 years of the first and no insurance, Paul can expect a minimum 3 year driving ban (mandatory), and the magistrate has the options of a fine of up to £5,000 for the drink driving and £4,000 for having no insurance and/or up to 6 months dodging guys called Bubba in the showers at the Scrubs.

8 thoughts on “With ‘is ‘ead tucked underneath ‘is arm…

  1. Pingback: The UK Today
  2. We all know its wrong to revel in the misfortune of others, but ha fucking ha. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer hypocrite.

  3. The owners of the Kennington Tandoori must be getting a bit sick of people like Guido turning up to look at the photos of John Prescott.

    And I’m certain that the Police will remember that Guido referred to them as “fuckers”.

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