Bullshitting here…

Phew, with all the main action in the Ealing Southall by-election centred on dodgy defections, nicking leaflets and astroturf, its interest to reflect on the fact that the most that anyone seems able do when it comes to Lib Dem candidate, Nigel Bakhai, is take the piss out of the usual badly-drawn Lib Dem bar graph:

bullshittinghere.jpg

The Lib Dems seen to have an interesting campaign strategy going here, one that centres of trying to make a virtue out of being nondescript while campaigning on issues more suited to a would-be local councillor – here’s the questions Nigel’s posing in his current ‘community survey’…

B. Cleaner Streets

Getting our area free of rubbish and graffiti is a top priority for the Liberal Democrats.

Are you happy with the standards of cleanliness in your street?

Do you know of any areas of graffiti, rubbish or vandalism that the Lib Dem team can deal with (please tell us details below)?

C. Road and Pavements

Local Liberal Democrat campaigners are working to improve the standards of local roads and pavements.

How do you rate the quality of roads and pavements in your area?

Do you know of any cracked pavements, potholes or damaged road surfaces in your street (please tell us details below)?

D. Safer Streets

Are you aware of any road safety problems in your area?

Tackling crime and fear of crime is a top priority for local Liberal Democrats.

Are you aware of any broken streetlights or dangerously unlit areas locally?

Do you feel safe going out after dark in your area?

What would you like to see done to make our streets safer?

E. Open Spaces

The Liberal Democrats have long campaigned to protect and improve our precious green spaces in Ealing and Southall.

Do you think there are enough open spaces in our local area?

What would you like to see done to improve the open spaces in your area?

Now that’s what I call making campaign promises. Vote for Nigel and he’ll be back in a few weeks with his mates from the Lib Dems to empty your bins, tarmac your drive and put new bulbs in all the broken street lamps on your patch.

What a party. What a man.

Oh, must just ask one thing…

Is it just me or there just something about Nigel and his campaign that automatically make you think of E L Wisty…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8vLlifaHkY[/youtube]

5 thoughts on “Bullshitting here…

  1. If I remember right, one of the E L Wisty World Domination League’s campaign promises was “Vote for us and beautiful nude ladies will come and dance with you”. If Nigel has made any similar promises, I think we might have heard. Wisty also admitted publicly that his promises were completely untrue, an innovation which even the Great Moderniser himself, David Cameron, has yet to adopt.

  2. At the merger debate back in 1988, Ludovic Kennedy- a man I have limitless time for- argued in favour of merger on the basis that power could not be achieved with the ‘pure milk of Liberalism’.

    Twenty years on- where are we. The Liberals turned down a coalition in Wales with everyone- every last party. And they now oppose coalition at Westminster. Meanwhile, they still do campaigns with community politics based on leaflets that Tony Greaves could have written in 1970 [and probably did].

    Just what do the Anglo-Welsh Liberals want? ‘We win by-elections’ , they cry. Rarely, they do- and then lose them at the next election. But onwards and downwards they go- never learning, seeing or hearing how to advance. The Three Thick Monkeys indeed.

    What is the point of the Liberal Party? And why do they carry on?

  3. Oh that Lib Dem bar chart is quite modest by Lib Dem standards.We had one during this May’s local election campaign that showed the Lib Dems in first place in our ward, despite the fact we defeated them by 400 votes in 2006.Just for good measure we defeated them by 600 votes this year…can’t wait to see next year’s Lib Dem bar chart..

  4. Tis funny, a local LD councillor works at their central office, and often lauds their by-election strategy.

    But when I ask him about bar charts he denies all knowledge. In Crawley they used to use a dodgy map (showing all the rural bits that used to be on the constituency in yellow to suggest that vast swathes of farmland would sway the vote.

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